A letter from my mom/dad

(this is a letter my mom sent to me in response to the letter I sent to her. the former letter can be found on this blog. my wife and I believe this letter not to be written by my mother but her husband who I sometimes call dad. enjoy.)

Josh,

Give my love to Rachael and Lorelei!  Know that we pray for you all daily.  Here is my response to what you shared.

Dear Josh,

I appreciate you sharing your views with me and have read it several times.  Dad and I are pleased that you want to communicate with us and cherish that very much. Before I address specifics, I do want to bring up that part of the difficulty in researching "history" in today's world is that so much of the past has been commented on that many times "opinions" of the past are repeated and repeated on the internet and print media until they start to appear as fact - and people believe them as truth.  We both need to be careful to glean the real truth and that can be difficult in this information age, because as you stated, we are told what others want us to hear and I agree.

After discussing your letter with Dad, here are some thoughts:

First:  Survival of the fittest is merely an adaptation of traits within a species and is observable in nature. But this is not “evolution” which touts the creation of new and different species from entirely different forms of life.  It is not a simple “Man came from Monkeys” argument that we disagree with. It is the “Man came from the goo in the primordial swamp” which is not only objectionable Biblically, but impossible biologically and statistically. However, your point about “adapting to the environment” is understood.  Just don’t confuse it with “evolution”.

In regards to socio-political changes, of course we agree in part.  Human institutions are all corrupt in some degree because they are designed by humans who are innately sinful and prone to error. But don’t brand your Dad and I as conformists or puppets because we don’t propose radical changes just for the sake of change. Even going back to your analogy of adaptation, every generation doesn’t necessarily adapt because it doesn’t need to adapt. Change for the sake of change is illogical and unnecessary.  Change when corrupt practices are in place (e.g. the Reformation) was warranted.  Josh, we love you very much so it is with that information that I hope you accept this comment: although it is an admirable trait to speak up for what you believe and stand against injustice, you have seemed to welcome confrontation and taken the radical viewpoint on whatever issue is out there. If the government says we landed on the moon, you say it was a hoax. If the majority of the medical field says fluoride has beneficial effects, you say it is a conspiracy to control the masses. You have endorsed so many conspiracy “theories” that we just expect that whatever the mainstream says (right or wrong) you are going to oppose it for the sake of being argumentative and confrontational. You have lost all respect for and trust in the “establishment”.  But we still love you!

Now, a crucial point of your letter and the point we will disagree is the canon of the Scripture. You vastly oversimplified a process that was done carefully (and prayerfully) and made it sound like a simple disagreement between people of differing views and in the end, the strong won out. This is a grossly inadequate reconstruction of history.  First, you must draw a distinction between the OT canon and the NT canon because they were two separate and unique processes occurring 400-600 years apart and the “orthodox church” (as you call it) didn’t have anything to do with the first. The NT canon took place between about 140 AD and 397 AD so it wasn’t just one group of “priests” from one camp arguing with another group.

JI Packer had an interesting quote concerning those who say the canon was simply man’s
“collection” of the scriptures they wanted to include as God’s word. “The church no more gave us the New Testament canon than Sir Isaac Newton gave us the force of gravity. God gave us gravity, by his work of creation, and similarly he gave us the New Testament canon, by inspiring the individual books that make it up.”

As to the difference between the “orthodox” and “Gnostics”, I think that is something to leave for another time. Although John wrote 3 epistles to counter the 1^st century Gnostics, they obviously didn’t go away but their writings over the next few centuries were discussed and dismissed by the Early Church Fathers over the next few hundred years.

You ask whether or not worldviews should be defined by “man”. My answer is “NO”. But most are, however (communism, socialism, humanism, scientology and on and on). A Biblical worldview is not defined by man but by God and that is why we camp there. But you say, “The Bible promotes sexism and genocide”. I think that is very shortsighted for several reasons. First, you are defining “sexism” based on a humanistic world view. The Bible teaches man to love his wife as Christ loved the church and be willing to die for her. You call that “sexism”?  Where Christianity has sprouted across different cultures around the earth, women have been freed from oppression, men have been taught to love and respect them, and stability in cultures has ensued.

The last point is your charge against the Bible “promoting” genocide. Let me remind you that God destroyed the entire human race save 8 people early on as a judgment against sin and He will one day judge the entire world and restore it. Call it what you want, but it is obvious that God hates sin and will deal with it in His way and His time. Recall that he even sent unholy kings to conquer His chosen people and enslave them for their violations of the law. Yet He has ultimately set up His son as the greatest sacrifice to make all things right. But saying the Bible promotes genocide because God judged Canaan is far from what the whole counsel of God’s Word commands Christians to do and far from what they do in practice concerning going into all the world with the gospel of peace and loving your neighbors. Christians aren’t perfect, but they aren’t running around wiping out entire ethnic groups. But recall the recent mass murders and examine their worldviews (Mao Tse Tung, Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot, etc.)

Finally, about your claim that men just made this all up: If that were the case, why wouldn’t they selectively have left out things like the conquering of Canaan and the promise that those that follow Christ will undergo persecution and death? Why would they have said you must become a slave? These aren’t very good “recruiting” slogans for sure. To me, it only further underscores the truthfulness of what we have in our possession called the Holy Bible.

Thank you for reading this response – it was written with love and much prayer for you all.

Mom

Ethical Concerns

It is becoming increasingly hard to talk about me and my friends (in writing or in speech) without having to obscure a great bit of detail. Most of what we do is considered illegal and wrong by the present power structure. The truth is so much more enlightening. The truth, though, could get a lot of people in serious trouble.

Information should be free. Evolution should be encouraged. But for silly reasons I cannot be completely open about my experiences.

Criss-Crossing Paths

The building my mom lives in is a strange one. Similar to the Winchester House in the sense of senselessness. There are doors that lead to nothing, secret rooms with windows that can be seen from outside of the apartment, but are only accessible by the revealing of a moveable wall. I've noticed the strange architecture, but my focus points are the basement of the entire building and the kitchen in our apartment. At first it was nothing, just a drawer face that wouldnt stay nailed to the rest of the drawer, despite the obvious attempts of 15 nails trying to keep it on. It would pop itself off regardless. Alright, faulty drawer. We stopped putting it back on. Problem fixed, right?
Then the shadows. I'd been seeing the shadows...flitting across my peripheral vision. First I saw them in Fresno in the apartment I was staying then I saw them here in the kitchen. I put them down to figments of my imagination along with the comely amount of LSD and mushrooms I've been taking recently. But I had indeed seen them, there was no denying it. And I wasnt impressed with the feeling they left lingering or with the idea that I might be being followed.
Now to the basement...well, basements are what they be, creepy as shit.  Upon arriving here the first time, my mom warned me about the basement, said she had been down there one night doing her laundry when she heard some voices.  I took note, but my mom has heard voices before and I figured 'whateva'.  But there was no ignoring it as I felt my own mind begin to slip from my grasps, not towards insanity but released from the contains of what they call "sanity".  This indoctrination we've been taught to not question our reality, that there is only one and it is by their standards.  Back to the basement...So here I am now doing my laundry and I admit I was getting the heebie-jeebies but thought my mind was just playing tricks on me when once again two shadows flicked across my vision...once bouncing off a broken mirror leaving my eyes focused on painted writing on the doorjam "You're a NUT."  At this I knew my mind was not fucking with me and I bolted up the stairs, but I felt something trailing after me on the back of my calves, the same way it had felt once in the kitchen.  I yelled "STOP!" and went back to the apartment and did not go back to the basement til the next morning. The writings were and are still there.
There have been more disturbances in the kitchen. Grocery bags that were safely tucked between the wall and fridge come flying out into the middle of the floor and noises...basically just things moving.  I was beginning to become annoyed.

I have become very attuned to my psychic ability and wish to hone my skills. I ponder the possibilities of time, space, quantum physics, and how I can personally manipulate them to allow telecommunication, telekinesis, even interdimensional/time travel, activating the 8th thru 12th chakras our our light body.  My mind is powerful, but how do I access that power within this physical realm? By remembering. All the answers our within ourselves...or are we indeed the answers to the riddles we are faced with?  We will allow the possibility that we can travel through time or at least our future selves have figured it out. We go back in time and change things, hoping we will make it right this time around. That first plane of existence did not cease to exist at this point and through the changes made we have created a second layer of existence stacked on top of that one.  But things are still not right...we messed shit up again or the correcting of the orginal mistake changed history and caused something else to happen that we wish to correct. And so it goes on...and we have created many layers, many parallel universes stacked on top of each other.  And it becomes crowded...the space between the layers have become thin.  Interdimensional travel between these planes is easier, well maybe perhaps just noisier.  We hear a rustling in the room, but we are alone in that room..perhaps we are crossing paths with our future interdimensionally-traveling self.  It could be happening in the other planes as well. The thought came to me, what if this is what is happening. As I allow myself to leave this reality and go down the rabbit hole, I wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me (you're a NUT), but what if I am playing tricks on myself!  I am saying "HEY! Pay attention! WE figured it out, You are on the right path, in the right thinking." to myself. This is a possibility...but just that.
Yesterday, there were more disturbances. More writings on the wall in the basment and an-almost act of violence in the kitchen (which by the way is the old part of the apartment, the rest was built on later).  More shadows  flitting across my vision lead me to more writing on the wall in the basement across from the other "you're a NUT", which reads "Yes. YOU!"
WTF! right? Last night as me and my mom sat watching TV in the living room, a tray with a small pie my mom had left me went flying off its stable position on top of the stove, spreading pie juices all over the floor. Now that was just rude, but you've got my fucking attention, asshole.


So now I have reached this moment.  Mischievious spirit/energy, this building built on a sense of crazy, and me...who might be losing it because I am truly on to something big here. A discovery of my psychic capabilities.  Regardless, it is sending me messages I can't ignore. But I wont know, unless I ask whatever it might be. It is the fear of what might happen, of who is in control that holds me back.  I mean, I'm already insane, what else is there to lose? More like what is there to gain.

Manifest ASAP

Ok, so first attempt at starting a train of thought here...Something that's been bugging me, which I feel is significant to this blog's line of significance which is to end greed and violence. both of these come from need, and as any street kid can tell, through manifestation whether one believes it comes from the diving within the mortals you pronounce manifestation to, or through straight divine intervention beyond the observable realm, that one always has what one needs. NOT WANTS, BUT NEEDS. One can have what one wants if a person knows how to ask (via prayer, spells, or simply writing with intention..), but I've discovered recently how important it is to be truly self observant always vigilant with your intentions. Through manifestation, I made a lot of money this season, then took lots of Lucy and one dose of fungus. All these trips were pushing me towards something, but i was looking at myself too hard momentarily, and not everyday when more sober. Through this one manifestation of money I became ensnared in a perpetuating greed! For more, more money, more food, more weed, more improvement...but by trying to improve by the atypical means by trying to aquire employment, "enough" clothes, food, accesories and such consumeristic ways of thinking, I suddenly saw it. The disease of idiocracy eating my freedom away piece by piece. I feel we need to find sustainable farms before our children are lost to this ocean of apathy. I feel we can manifest this sooner than we realize. Greed is so deceptive, I've always thought money was only needed when i reproduced and only for the reason of aquiring land and the starting needs of a sustainable homestead on which to teach them real life needs-how to grow, work not in excess but meaningful work for your meals, how to prepare food of all types, how to survive without commodities so that they can see life isn't about the shiny pretties and convenience!!!! In this environment alone can we, and our future survive the mindnumbing messages bombarding us daily in babylon. Only there could we evolve, without the everyday setback of pretending to run the rat race under watching Eyes. I want it within the next five years, before my eggs are old and whatnot genetically inept... SO my plan-instead of focusing on making money this season-im going to go for no profit-only learning how to grow how to plant how to take care of chickens and cows and goats :) That's what I'm manifesting. Some parenting knowledge, and various other skills should be honed too, such as fuel making for tractors-or horse maintenance-manure making knowledge- bee knowledge!!!!! Bees are a must. Financial and lawful (knwoledge) means to freedom from the government's ability to take land away when said homestead is established would be great too. thoughts?...

A Letter for Your Mom

Dear Mom,

I guess, if I had to start somewhere I would start with evolution. Now, I understand that you do not believe that we came from monkeys and I will admit that there is no proof that we did. There are skeletons that lead us to believe that this is possible, but there is no actual proof. What is evident, however, is that organisms (that is living things that eat, poop, and procreate) will adapt to their environment. Those that adapt will survive to pass on their genes to the next generation. This is called survival of the fittest.

Those organisms survive to pass on genes to other organisms that are forced to adapt and the cycle is continued. For instance, all the skin tones and muscle/bone structures can be accounted for by the different climates and land that we all come from. Understanding this would lead us to believe that it is imperative in our nature to examine our environment (physical, social, spiritual, and political) and attempt to change that flaws we see in it. When Martin Luther and the Reformers saw that there were many problems with the Catholic Church, they attempted to change things and so doing gave birth to the Protestant Church. Many of them were even arrested and tried for heresy.

This cycle of change still exists and it burns within each new generation. We are born into a world that we did not create. We are not responsible for it's mistakes, but are obligated to attempt to change what needs to be changed and not to repeat the mistakes of the past. If we were to merely follow the orders of those who came before us then how would we grow? We would be doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again. The old regime will always oppose the new regime; this is evident very clearly in the social climate right after slavery was abolished in this country. The old blacks opposed the white man and the old whites opposed the black man. Their children didn't understand the prejudice of their elders and rebelled against it.

There are too many problems in this world to count. It is our duty and our right as a generation to try and make things better. It is out right to try new things, to actually see what works and what doesn't. Without this right, our world will never improve no matter what we do.

Now, you and I were lead to believe (by men, not The Bible) that those 66 texts were the only inspired texts and were the Whole Truth: The Word of God. The truth is that a group of priests from from what was known as the Orthodox Church decided what texts to keep and what to be declared as heresy. There were over 100 texts that came out of the Hebrew tradition and relating to Jesus. After Jesus' death, dozens of churches arose with different opinions about what Jesus said (and they had sacred texts to back it up). Most of these sects could be grouped into two categories: Orthodox and Gnostic. The Orthodox believed that Jesus was the Son of the Hebrew God, and the Gnostics believed that he was the Son of the Autogenes, who is at the same time the eternal God and another holy dimension without decay or death. The Gnostics believed that the god of this earth, who the Hebrews called Jehova, was a low god: cruel, jealous, and arrogant; that Jesus was sent to tell us that we could be free of his tiresome games.

Needless to say, there was conflict. It erupted into violence on both sides. The Orthodox burned the Gnostics alive and the Gnostics slit the Orthodoxed throats in the street. All of this over a disagreement about what Jesus said and what he didn't (and what it all meant). In the end, the Orthodox outnumbered the Gnostics and defeated them. They burned all of the Gnostic sacred texts and declared them Heretical for all time and they burned the rest of those Christians who held the Gnostic beliefs. Eventually, a council was called and the Orthodox priests gathered there decided what the Truth was.

Should our world views be defined by what men think? Where has it gotten us? The Bible promotes genocide (for God commands His people to slaughter all the people of Canaan because it is The Promised Land). The Bible promotes patriarchy (a woman is subjugated, below a man). Are these good things? Should we continue these ideas and should we propagate them? Is genocide and sexism okay because God says it is in the Bible?

Your Son

Strip Mall Satori

The first step to enlightenment is getting past the smell. We had formed a cloud of two behind some brambly bushes off of a dinky hiking trail to a city park. Time to seek visions. The recipe is simple chemistry. Water, starting fluid, bottle, shake and drain. I dowsed my rag and began a deep rhythmic breathing. Pictures of Buddhist watercolor flickered behind my eyelids. My head was shaved. Dangling so gently above my smooth head a needle dispensed the finest lavender chalk to track my meditations. Flash to a moment of my master showing me the chalk. It was so soft, scented like spring, delicate and precious. i held the chalk in my hand and clumsily i spilled the chalk on myself. I looked at my hand with the rag in it, repeating softly, "i'm sorry". What are you sorry about? i was back in the bushes with my cloud mate, tears in my eyes. I glanced behind in time to catch the corner of a bright orange Buddhist monk's robe flutter away into the brush.

Jesus the Hacker

It may come as a surprise to some that there are many different accounts and interpretations of Jesus and his message. After his death there were dozens of cults that arose in his name: each with their own holy scriptures to back it up. The largest of these groups called themselves the Orthodox (meaning "right" or "correct") Church and they set out to destroy any other views about Jesus and to kill all those who held these views. Among the sects that they murdered were a lose grouping of cults known as the Gnostics.

The Gnostics believed that Jesus was not the son of the Jewish god (who they called Yaltabaoth which means "the arrogant one," and also Saklas meaning "the fool") but that he was the son of the highest god (who really couldn't be labeled a god on the account of his being huge and indescribable). In there mind, Jesus had come from an eternal dimension (one without decay like our world) know as Barbelo to tell us that we could be free. Not only can we be free, but that in us we posses a piece of Barbelo (which is in itself th highest being the Gnostics called the Autogenes which means "self generated" or at times The Luminous Cloud) inside of us and that eternal part of us is powerful and yearns to be free and infinite again.

If we are, in fact inside of some ultra-complicated computer simulation (which I believe we very well might be), then a more liberal interpretation of the Gnostic belief could lead us to believe that Jesus was not an immortal being at all, but a hacker from outside the computer. Maybe the time period in which he found himself when he entered our simulation made it necessary to dumb down the message - to bring it to a level that the humans of that age could digest. Could his message have really been that we could unplug from the machine and be free in the world beyond?

I will leave you with a quote from Jesus. It can be found in the Coptic Gospel of Thomas.

verse 1:  And He said, "Whoever finds the interpretation of these sayings will not experience death."

An Announcement

I just realized that a true search for the truth should not be a solitary thing. A lot of us have been talking about evolving (spiritually and socially) and have been attempting to do so. This blog that I started recently was meant to catalogue this phenomenon in my own life. I would like now, instead to open up the blog to a host of other writers who would like to share in this venture. I am now calling the blog "Revelations from Barbelo." (just a working title). Anyone interested?

A Ghost

I can navigate
   my way through

other

      people's homes with such
                                               ease
these days.

Soon,
               I will be gone.

Idea for a Time Machine

-Deprivation tank
-Mask of 80% Oxygen, 20% Diethyl Ether
-LSD and DMT through IV (slow drip for up to 48 hours)
-Headphones piping in a metronome that is set to become slower and slower gradually over a span of 48 hours
-Post Hypnotic Suggestion

Unity: A Treatise (Part 1)

1. A Need

Emergent anarchist movements are formed out of repression and increasing control. These movements and cultures will vary in as many ways imaginable depending on the need for change as dictates by the collective mind it springs from. When learning and scientific experimentation are subdued a subculture arises that encourages the expansion of knowledge and understanding. When creative and diverse religious and philosophical ideas are forbidden and demonized, the rebellious underground encourages enlightenment. A need for balance is detected by the collective mind - a subculture is the answer to that need. Now, there is a point when a subculture becomes a culture. Then, as other needs are detected, new subcultures emerge to fulfill them. Historically, we can see that this cycle repeats, and par for the course the old never wish to succeed to the new.

2. Vessels

A wonderful example of a vessel for evolutionary change can be found in the human fist. We have come to this specific arrangement of fingers and palm out of a need to attack and defend. The fist then becomes a vessel of further change both social and physical. Likewise, the vocal chords we use for speech evolved from the need for detailed and efficient communication. This opened up whole new areas of abstract thought, propelling us into drastic social evolution which lead us here: the modern human. Our evolution at this point has become a primarily social progression. Modern vessels of evolution are more commonly referred to as prophets, holy men, visionaries, poets, sages, philosophers, futurists, and etc.

3. The Problem

The transition from old to new is the chief source of disunity in all communities. The goal then becomes a search for smooth and efficient transitions until the line dividing old and new is no longer visible. This is made difficult by the tendency of the present power structure to attempt to absorb and gentrify the emergent culture that attempt to evolve, keeping us in a perpetual state of stagnation. Matters are made worse when we are divided among our own generation. W must be allowed to try new things for this is the very heart of our evolution. It has even been said that our willingness and tendency to take risks is what truly defines our species. We must evaluate for ourselves, each new generation, what to keep with us and what can be tossed away and forgotten.

4. Our Nature

Some would say that human nature is the problem - that something deep within our blood and brains and bones drives us toward greed and violence, and that this same DNA inspires us to create, invent, and survive. I would say that the nature of humans is simply to survive and that it is cultural stimulus that creates the need for violence and greed. A culture still dominated by ancient patriarchal ideals where sex is simultaneously glorified and demonized and monogamy is the norm, the people's sexual, emotional, and spiritual desires are repressed. This repression leads to violence and greed. Likewise a culture that holds personal property as its highest law creates a division of rich and poor. Greed is encouraged and violence is glorified. Many more have been killed for money than any other god.

Secret Mission

Tomorrow, I embark on a mission. The exact details of this mission will be disclosed to you in full detail. I must delve into the heart of madness and try and find a peaceful outcome for all involved. If I do not come back, do not mourn me, for dozens will arise in my place.

I will return with a full report on Thursday (most likely). See you then.

Demons... CONTINUED

(this is a continuation of the previous article)

Now, there is much speculation as to what these demons might actually be. Some would say that they are malignant and evil by nature; I tend to believe that the goals and attitudes of these demons are as varies as there are goals and attitudes. How these beings came about is more or less a chicken or the egg kind of argument. Most wizards I know would tell you that a spirit or demon can be created in a variety of ways:

1. A demon can be created out of pure emotion.
2. A demon can be created with some sort of magic or ritual spell.
3. A demon can be created when someone dies.
4. A demon can be created when some intense event occurs.

I have heard that when one summons a demon you are actually creating that demon there on the spot. I would have to say that this could be half true. I believe that if one were to summon a demon that did not already exist, the effect would be that of creation. It is also a good question to ask ourselves: where do these demons go when we are not summoning, creating, or communing with them?

Demons and Why I Won't Summon One For You!

I was asked by a former employer of mine to summon a demon. He wanted real physical proof that magic was real and that I could use it. I tried to explain to him the gravity of the situation, how a demon would most likely want something from one of us in return, that it could possess one or all of us, that any dangerously unpredictable thing could come out of such a ritual.

And I say to you now the same thing that I said to my former boss,

It does not matter which came first,
the demon or the ritual to summon it,
for when a demon is summoned
a demon appears.

Poems for the Little Devil #24

Aww, look at that face,

           awww,

 oooh,

         ahhh!

Oh, what's that face?

          oh,

                   oh!

God damnit.

                          we just changed you!

2500 mgs

I was lying in a bunk bed at my mother's house and I began to meditate. I found my body growing lighter and I could feel my ego swelling as if to burst and I could feel myself slipping. This was the second time that I had taken a sub-anesthetic dose (what some of us Psychonauts call a Fourth Plateau dose) of dextromethorphan hbr. I started blacking out sporadically, losing time. The fifth or sixth time I blacked out, I felt like I was being pulled out of my body. When I opened my eyes I was somewhere else.

The first thing I noticed was the smell of the place. It smelled like shit: human and pack animal. And the sweat, wow, I had never encountered such body odor - it was amazing. The next thing I noticed was the sun beating down on my face and my back, which was bare. All around me people were pushing each other - a restless mob stumbling in a vague direction forward. They compelled me forward.

I couldn't understand what they were saying, but I immediately recognized it as some middle eastern language. As we walked on, I started to pick up snippets of words I thought I recognized, until I realized that it was Hebrew! Eventually the mob grew more agitated and uncontrollable. It seemed the whole mass of writhing rioters was about to explode. Then, on a hill in a clearing of low, twisty olive trees, I saw him and recognized the whole seen.

This was the Crucifiction. And there he was, with a few others (not three, but at least six or seven), nailed up on a cross. He looked right at me, this man Jesus, and said "Abba! Abba!" Father! Father! And I knew that he was talking to me.

That was the first time that ever time traveled.

Poem for The Devil #591

Those fumes,
 those fumes,
                     they showed me who you are.
Kali,
         Quetzalcoatl,
                              Eris:
I saw you.

Proof

When I was still wrestling with my destiny as a prophet, certain situations compelled me to leave home and strike out into the wilds of The Crazy an Inane States of America. After several pretty tame adventures I started to hear of a place where wizards, anarchists, hippies, and freaks would gather in staggering numbers to live and share and grow together. These Rainbow Gatherings, I had heard, had been happening for almost 40 years in forests all over the world. I knew that should go and check it out, and to be honest I really couldn't get my mind off of it.

Through the interwebs I met an old woman named Momma Copper who needed a ride to the National Rainbow Gathering in New Mexico (this was the summer of 2009). I dropped down from Missouri to Georgia and picked her up. It turns out that Momma Copper is the coolest old witch that I have yet to meet. She told me that magic was real. She said, "All you have to do, you know, is ask the universe something, anything, and it'll give it to you. You just have to know how to ask." I didn't believe her, I mean, I'm a born skeptic, and at the time I was a pretty sincere atheist. I told her as much. "Okay," she said, "what do want?"

"Anything?" I said.

"Anything."

I thought for a moment and burst out laughing. Of course I knew what I wanted. "What I always want? What does anybody want? A bag of weed!"

The old crone just cackled for a minute. Finally she said, "Done."

We were diving through the top little part of Texas toward Amarillo at the time and were running low on gas. Just outside Amarillo we pull in to a little Texico, I open my car door and there sitting next to me on the concrete is about a half ounce of weed in a little baggy. I showed the bag to Momma Copper and she just cackled her cackle and proceeded to roll joints until the bag was empty.

She sparked up the first joint, took a wicked long puff, blew it out, coughed, regained her composure and said, "Proof."

The Long Story: Part 1(-ish)

I was given the name Joshua by my birth mother. This is the real name of the supposed man you may have heard of named Jesus. Some would say that Joshua means "a savior or deliverer," but a deeper search into the individual Hebrew characters that make up the name has given us a more literal meaning: "to put the fire in hand." My parents give me the name Joshua, perhaps not fully understanding the power of names, and that name has shaped me.

Aleister Crowley is quoted often as having said, "'Do what thou wilt,' shall be the whole of the law." This phrase is an oversimplification of his philosophy of Thelema or Divine Will. Crowley believed that we, each of us, had our own divine purpose, a path to follow that flowed with the ebb and flow of the universe. What he meant was that one should do anything and everything in service to that Divine Will, and that would be the whole of the law. Crowley identified his role as The Messenger. This is the line of Horus, Moses, Hermes, Jesus, Khalil Gibran, and other such Prophets. I too have found my Divine purpose to be that of Messenger.

Our Divine Wills can be easily observed in tribal based cultures or any community that's survival hinges on the survival of the whole community. In a tribe, members awaken over time to their place within the workings of the tribe. Some become warriors, medicine men, healers, mothers, jesters, hunters, crafters, and etc. It's as if this innate ability to thrive in a group system arises at the right time in the right people.

Some times, we need to awaken to a new understanding or to shed a false understanding. It is for these times that we Messengers are made.

Poem for the Devil #41

I see the demon,

    sitting there,

      lurking there

 beside your breast.

Soon,

             she will

             wake to

             feed.

a huff around the lake

Me and a few of my "disciples" were walking around a lake huffing Ether through our rags. We called it, "A Huff Around the Lake." I found that even though we were walking in a circle, we could not detect it. Eventually we came to where we had begun without ever making a single turn.

That is Zen.